Even the horniest among us go through periods of low libido. Dealing with a slow sex drive can leave you feeling low, and if you’re used to daily solo sessions or partner play, you might even start wondering what’s wrong with you.
The short answer? Nothing. It’s completely normal for your sex drive to come and go. You might be navigating some hormonal changes or extra stress, or you might just need to connect with yourself and embrace your sexuality. So, how do you boost your sex drive?
What is a normal sex drive?
A normal sex drive is any level of desire that is consistent and normal for you. Some women have a naturally higher libido while other women have slightly less interest and desire for sex—both are normal. And when looking at sex drive in a relationship, especially if you are in a heterosexual relationship, it’s important not to compare.
Women’s desires tend to be much more complicated than men’s sexual urges. While a man’s sex drive can be impacted by stress and other external factors, much like women, males aren’t generally affected by things like menstruation, birth control, or pregnancy. This makes their sex drive stronger and more consistent.
Why Your Sex Drive Might Be Lower
While some ebbs and flows in desire are normal for women, it’s still important to take note when things feel a little “off.” If you noticed you haven’t been initiating sex or reaching your vibrator quite as often as you used to, it could be due to many factors.
Underlying conditions
In most cases, changes in desire aren’t a sign of an underlying condition. But if you’re experiencing chronically low libido, it’s worth checking in with your doctor to rule out larger health issues. There are a few different conditions that can disrupt your libido, from an underactive thyroid to depression and anxiety.
Hormonal changes
Estrogen and progesterone influence your sex drive, and any changes in your hormone levels can affect your libido. You might notice that your sex drive is higher during your period (hello, menstrubation), or your libido might decrease during pregnancy or menopause. Birth control can play a role in hormonal changes, too.
Stress
Stress increases your body’s production of cortisol, which suppresses your sex hormones, impacting your libido. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with stress, it’s probably time to make some healthy lifestyle changes. Working out, eating a balanced diet, and finding healthy ways to manage stress can all help your body relax and boost your libido.
Medication or Birth Control
Sometimes, medications like antidepressants and antiepileptics can take a toll on your sex drive. And if you’re asking, “Can birth control lower your sex drive?”, the answer is a little complicated. Some people feel less desire on birth control because of hormonal changes, while others feel even hornier on the pill. If you notice changes in your libido after starting a new medication, talk with a medical professional. You and your doctor may be able to find a solution that works for you.
Some other common reasons for a suddenly low libido include:
- The quality of your relationship
- Your attitudes toward sex
- Hormonal changes due to age
- Diet and lifestyle
- Mental and physical stress
- Your emotional well-being
Natural Ways to Support a Higher Libido
Wondering how to boost your sex drive? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Here are some of our favorite tips and tricks to support a higher libido.
Keep sex on the agenda
It’s so easy to get caught up in our daily routines that sex loses its place on our priority list. The secret to maintaining a healthy sex life is to keep desire on the agenda. After all, you can’t expect to stay fit if you’re not going to the gym regularly—for most partners, sex requires regular communication and planning. Even if you’re single, carve out some time to nurture your sex life.
Treat yourself to more solo sessions
You might be with someone who says and does all the right things, but if you’re not feeling yourself, nothing is going to happen. So, how can you change that? It’s simple: Take some time to explore your body and figure out exactly what you’re into. Try using meditative masturbation to discover your favorite erogenous zones—or getting buzzy with your favorite waterproof vibrator in the bath. It might seem counterintuitive, but you’ll be surprised at how much solo sessions can improve partner sex.
Mix up your bedroom repertoire
Sure, your tried-and-true masturbation or sex positions might work for you every time, but new techniques might just be the fuel you need to ignite your sex life. Don’t be afraid to introduce some new toys into the bedroom or experiment with mutual masturbation. If you feel comfortable, try watching porn with your partner or sexting while you’re apart to spark your imagination. It’s all about finding out what gets your juices flowing (and, of course, creating safe spaces to experiment!).
Check in with yourself
If a low sex drive leaves you feeling bad about yourself, it might be time to reflect on your own relationship with sex. How did you learn about sex? How do you feel about masturbation and porn? How do you view sex as an adult — as a way to express yourself or feel wanted, or as a source of shame? Sometimes, we need to focus on our own desire and negative attitudes toward sex that can prevent us from acting on our desires.
Reignite Your Passion and Self-Love
Even if you’re feeling out of it, it’s completely normal to want mind-blowing sex. You deserve to be turned on — and taking the time to truly engage with your body might just be the self-care you need to electrify your sex drive.
To set the mood for your next self-pleasure sesh, light some candles, put on your sexiest lingerie, and get buzzy with the Iridescence Vibrator. With 12 tantalizing vibration settings, three toe-curling intensities, and two pleasure points, the Iridescence can help you figure out exactly what makes you tick.
Shop the Iridescence to connect with your body and reignite your self-love.