Bondage for Beginners: A Complete Guide on Bondage Sex

Bondage and BDSM are at the top of plenty of people’s sexual bucket lists—and if you’re reading this, it’s probably on yours, too.

It might look easy in porn, but IRL, bondage demands a lot of trust and responsibility. You’re going to need safe words, consent, and practice (you don’t magically learn how to tie shibari rope, after all) if you want to safely bring your dirtiest fantasies to life.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab the rope and get tied up in our guide to bondage for beginners for a safe (and sexy!) bondage experience.

What Is Bondage?

Bondage—the B in BDSM—involves consensually restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, and/or tactile stimulation. It can be as simple or complicated as you want, whether that’s holding your partner’s arms down or tying them to the bed.

But why is bondage sex so hot? It all comes down to control. Maybe you spend all day taking orders, and you’re ready to switch up the power dynamic and take control in the bedroom. Or you might feel like being tied up makes it easier to fully surrender and “lose yourself.”

Whatever the reason you’re into bondage, the orgasms can be extremely intense—and the honest and open communication required for it can help you achieve a new level of intimacy with your partner.

How to Get Started with Rope Bondage

Even if you’re a self-proclaimed BDSM expert, it’s important to remember that bondage on TV and in porn isn’t always depicted realistically. Being knowledgeable (and, OFC, taking the time to practice) will ensure your bondage sexcapades are both safe and orgasm-worthy.

Here’s how to get started.

1. Communicate with Your Partner

Bondage sex is all about mixing pain and pleasure, but you should ALWAYS be aware of your partner’s needs (and vice versa). With any kind of BDSM play, you should decide on safe words ahead of time so that you can get out of the situation immediately if you want or need to. The classic safewords are based on the traffic light system—red (stop immediately), yellow (slow down), and green (keep going!).

Sexual restraints should only ever be with a partner you trust—not with a hottie you just met on Tinder. And remember: Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and any reason is 100% valid.

2. Grab Your Supplies

Once you’ve mastered the BDSM vocab, it’s time to stock up. Head to a sex store with your partner and let your imagination take over. Load up on rope, handcuffs, sex toys, and other props to lean into your roles.

Sexual restraints can be as simple as repurposing something you already have (think: ties and scarves). However, be careful not to choose anything that can dig into the skin uncomfortably. And don’t use anything of real value, either. There’s always a risk you’ll have to cut your partner out of their bonds if the knots are too tight.

3. Take It Slow

It’s easy to get so ramped up at the idea of trying bondage that you want to try everything ASAP—but start slow. Taking your time helps ensure you don’t cross your partner’s boundaries (once you do, they might not want to give bondage another go).

This might mean having rough sex while the submissive partner is handcuffed. Or, you might incorporate edgier aspects into your bondage, like bringing your partner to the brink of orgasm by teasing their erogenous zones with a dual-action vibrator. It’s all about exploring your boundaries, finding out what makes you tick, and defining what both partners feel comfortable with.

Best Beginner-Friendly Bondage Positions

The best thing about bondage sex? There’s no shortage of toe-curling, back-arching bondage positions to ignite your BDSM play! Some of the best beginner-friendly positions include:

Spooning bondage: In this position, the little spoon partner’s arms are bound in front of them. They can also be blindfolded for added kink.
Handcuffed to the bed: The classic bondage position. This form of bondage involves handcuffing (or tying) your partner to the bed. Add a blindfold for a super-hot sensory-deprived foreplay sesh—or tease them with a vibrator until they’re begging for more.
Cowgirl: In the cowgirl position, the submissive partner is bound in the spread-eagle position, and the dominant partner performs the cowgirl position on top of them.
Chair bondage: Chair bondage involves tying a submissive partner’s arms and legs to a high-back chair so the dominant partner can ride them, tease them with sex toys, or bring them to the edge with oral sex.
Ball tie: In this position, the submissive partner is bound in the fetal position with their arms and knees tucked into their chest. Want to make it even hotter? Throw on a blindfold or place a ball gag in their mouth.

Bondage Knots for Beginners

Ready to jump into rope bondage for beginners? Here are some basic bondage knots to kickstart your adventure into the world of sex and submission.

Single column tie: This is your most basic bondage knot. It’s all about tying a single column, whether it’s a wrist, leg, torso… you name it. It’s your starting point, and you’ll probably use it in most other ties that you (or your partner) end up in.
Bowline knot: The Bowline makes a secure loop at the end of a piece of rope. It’s easy to untie, and it won’t slip or bind underweight. It can be used to tie something when the other end of the rope is already tied to something else (i.e., tying your partner’s wrist to the bedpost).
Double column wrap: When you want to tie two things together (i.e., wrist to wrist or ankle to ankle), the double-column wrap is the way to go. It’s pretty similar to the single-column but with a cinch in the middle. The double-column is a simple knot, but it’s surprisingly snug, so make sure there’s enough slack for your partner to move comfortably.

When it comes to rope bondage, try to avoid putting too much pressure on the skin, and make sure you have enough room to slide at least two fingers between the rope and the skin. Always keep scissors nearby in case you need to cut a knot or loop—and don’t forget to use safe words!

Unleash Your Deepest, Dirtiest Fantasies

Looking to spice up your bedroom repertoire with some light BDSM? If you really want to get kinky, the Iridescence will be your best friend—whether you’re the one being bound or the one doing the restraining.

With 12 powerful vibration settings, three tantalizing intensities, and two pleasure points, she’s the perfect threesome partner for your next bondage sesh. She’ll tease you until you’re begging for more, or you can use her on your partner to bring them to the edge.

Shop the Iridescence Vibrator today to take control with unbelievable, toe-curling orgasms.